At the start of a new season, it’s helpful to consider our commitments. My July calendar looks very different from my September calendar. When my kids return to school, my days fill with extra-curricular activities: after-school band sectionals, soccer practices, and dance lessons.
What about you?
Does this month bring new activities or commitments, including those set for you and some you are considering?
Are you aware of your needs and limitations as you enter this new season?
- Maybe you’re a new mom who lacks community with other mothers.
- Maybe you’ve started a new job, so your household management needs tweaking.
- Maybe you feel spiritually or socially unconnected.
- Maybe your priorities have shifted as you care for a loved one.
- Maybe your child has started a new school, a new activity, or a new phase.
- Maybe your spouse’s job requires more time or travel.
- Maybe you are weary from a difficult circumstance.
Your Creator Sees You, Your Schedule, and Your Limitations
I gently nudge you to look to God, who created the seasons. He is an unchanging God, steady in his love, faithfulness, and grace through the changing circumstances of our lives. When we feel shaky, Jesus stabilizes us. When we look at the days ahead, growing a bit dizzy from our lack of control, God directs our steps. We are not alone, dear one.
Remember, seasons change, and so do our schedules. If you feel stressed about making commitments, pray for guidance. Resist the urge to compare your obligations to others (this is so challenging, isn’t it?). Your best yes is most likely different than my best yes. Let’s lean into our unique gifting and not neglect the relational roles God has placed us in (marriage, family, parenting, friendships). We all have 24 hours a day with a limited human capacity.
Changing Seasons Invite Us to Consider Our Commitments
I’ve learned that scheduling doesn’t get easier when your kids get bigger or when you get older. My calendar is complex in this phase of life, with many moving parts and people. But I’ve also learned the value of resetting my schedule seasonally, evaluating activities and commitments under the filter of family values, work/financial/physical limitations, and desire versus dread.
Change is inevitable,
and though we often resist it,
change has an unexpected beauty.
The seasons reveal this truth to us every year.
Just as the golden leaves let go of the autumn trees, we may need to release our hold on specific activities. When we behold the beauty of changing fall colors, may we have the courage to make prayerful changes in our spiritual, physical, and relational commitments. Take a look at your current weekly commitments and those in limbo, and prayerfully ask yourself these questions:
1. Does this commitment align with my values and our family’s values?
2. Can I fulfill all this commitment requires of me physically, emotionally, and financially?
3. If I say yes to this, what do I need to say no to?
4. As I picture myself doing this, am I filled with excitement or dread? Why?
1. Does this commitment align with my values and our family’s values?
My husband and I value one-on-one time with our children. When our twins were three, and their baby brother was born, we started going on “date nights” with them. My husband would take boy #1 one week, then I would take boy #1 the next week, and we’d rotate the following week to boy #2. We still have a rotation with all four kids and look forward to our special time together. When I take one of my children to get ice cream, I’m reminded of the importance of carving out these trust-building times when they can talk to me about anything on their minds. In this season, Wednesday nights work best for our parent/child “date nights,” so I’ve prioritized these outings in our schedule because they are important to our family.
When we don’t consider our values in making commitments,
then our calendar bosses us with busyness.
Look at your weekly schedule and prayerfully consider how it aligns with your values.
2. Can I fulfill all this commitment requires of me physically, emotionally, and financially?
Do you ever feel inundated with opportunities? I do. Looking around, I see so many great ways to spend my time in various capacities: investing in family and friendships, creating work projects, volunteering at school, serving at church, redecorating our home, etc.
Yet, we all have limited capacity.
Sometimes, this truth makes us cringe. If we’re honest, we believe we have superpowers and can do all the things for all the people all the time. We simply cannot, but our enemy likes to deceive us into thinking we can.
When faced with an opportunity, pause and envision your life if you say yes. Can you fulfill all the commitment requires of you physically, emotionally, and financially?
Note: Sometimes God leads us into commitments that stretch us physically, emotionally, and financially. This is why praying through decisions is so important to have peace in relying on God’s strength and not our own.
3. If I say yes to this, what do I need to say no to?
Sometimes, decisions require us to say no to big things, and other choices result in little “no’s.” Yet, it’s helpful to consider how we need to alter our daily routines to honor our commitments. This trade-off approach to my commitments has helped me realize my finite time and abilities.
Yes, there are so many great things I could be doing with my time. And also, saying yes to one thing requires saying no to something else.
Here are some examples from my own life:
- “I’d love to be a Mentor Mom at our church’s mom’s group! And also, if I commit to Tuesday mornings, that means saying no to working for several hours that day. Is this the best use of my time this season, considering my other commitments?” The beauty of seasons is that they change. So, a no this season may change to a yes next season.
- Going to church on Sunday mornings is a priority in our family. Because we get home late (past noon) and everybody is hungry, I’ve learned to say “no” to making a lunch that requires more than 15 minutes of preparation and cooking time. Most weeks, we have a simple Sunday lunch of sandwiches or soup — this is a little “no.”
- A bigger “no” is telling my son’s soccer team that he can’t play on Sunday mornings. Again, we’ve filtered this commitment through our family values, and prioritizing church takes precedence over sports. Thankfully, the scheduling has worked out this season with later afternoon games.
Note: Kids and sports could be a whole series of essays, and I know the subject is very complex and unique for each family. Again, this is why praying through our commitments is so important for each individual’s and family’s particular dynamics.
4. As I picture myself doing this, am I filled with excitement or dread?
Don’t skip this question, friend. Pausing to consider your emotions circling a commitment reveals unexpected self-discovery. If you hear yourself saying, “I really should do XYZ, but I don’t want to,” or the flip side, “I really want to do XYZ, but I shouldn’t,” you need to pause and go deeper.
Ask yourself why.
Why do you think you should or should not do this?
Why do you want to do this?
Why do you not want to do this?
Often, the root of pride, comparison, or misplaced reliance surfaces when we delve deeper.
When we honestly verbalize our desires and dread before Jesus,
he gently guides us in truth to reveal any false narratives
we believe about ourselves and life with him.
Ask me how I know.
The Beauty of Boundary Lines
I’ll say it again: We all have limited capacity.
We cannot do all the things, nor should we.
God didn’t create us to be frazzled and overwhelmed, so prayerfully considering our commitments enables us to peacefully proclaim,
“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
Psalm 16:6 CSB
Ask God to show you where your boundary lines fall this season, then enjoy the freedom and provision of residing within his loving borders.
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